I feel the need to address this issue now that I am plus 1, as there has been a lot, and I do mean a lot of discussion about the fact that TAJ and I are not yet married and “already starting a family”.
This post may step on toes, boo-hoo; or offend some people, but those are generally the people that felt compelled to pass judgement on me and my fiance for having a baby before saying “I do”…in front of all of you. We chose to try to start a family before we get married because my body had a very narrow chance to actually do this. And dammit weddings are frickin expensive, as are babies, and the baby happened to come first. Swell!! We are beyond excited.
First let me say that the moment TAJ and I decided to spend the rest of our lives together we said “I do” to each other and that’s all that matters to me at this point. But the reasons that we are not running to the courthouse to make it legal are as follows:
1. I am choosing not to be pregnant in my wedding dress.
2. I am not religious in any way shape or form…so I don’t have to worry about the eternal damnation of my soul.
3. I always do things my own way, and sometimes they are out of the normal order, and this is one of those times.
4. I still want the wedding of my dreams, I have plans, ideas and things I want to do on that day that would not be the same if we skulked off to the JOP because people in our lives did not approve of the fact that we created a life before legally committing to one another (see the above statement regarding saying “I do”.) BONUS: I now have a ring bearer or flower girl that will be part of our beautiful ceremony, and reception. Awesome!
5. Because we don’t have to. This decision is one that is ours. We continue to talk about it, but the conclusion that I always come to is that I do not want that to be my wedding day. A forced event to appease the people in our lives that have taken it upon themselves to tell me that I am living my life wrong. This child we be loved the same with or without TAJ and I being married before their debut.
6. Because I am a stubborn ass. The end.
I know this topic is controversial, and most people have strong opinions either way about it…clearly I am one of them. Bu I do know how to live my life, and I have chosen to have a baby out of wedlock, and I couldn’t care less what everyone else thinks about it. So now that I have answered the burning question…we can go back to making Wedding Wednesdays fun and about what will be the second most amazing day of my life!