Loss sucks.  Loss is hard.  And loss is life changing.


Before you freak, The Bump, The Hubby and I are just fine.

My brother-in-law and his other half A, lost their bundle-to-be last week.  She was due just 2 weeks after me.  Although I have never personally experienced that kind of loss, I know that it is devastating.  My heart goes out to them, but I also believe that everything happens for a reason.  And I know that this new addition was unexpected and a blessing all the same.

My experience was with infertility, or being told that I would face infertility.  I grieved for a life that I thought I’d never have.  So now that I am growing life, and  A is not, I feel guilty about all of the things that I am going to experience and she is not.  I hesitate to share belly pictures, and weekly updates for fear of hurting her.  But I know that I cannot think that way.  I know that the next few months will be hard for her, but she is so young and has lots of time to become a mother.  I know that one day she will be healed, and she will be happy.  But until then I can only be a shoulder and be supportive.


2 thoughts on “Loss”

  1. one thing I have found very helpful, but was timid to do at first, is to just ask the person how do they feel -do they want to see pictures -do they prefer to be left alone -how do you want me to behave as a friend to you? Then you will understand a little better how they are feeling and how you should handle the situation without worrying about offending anyone. The emotions are going to come either way but at least the booth if you have open communication and no one is guessing I’m the dark which usually causes me to do something stupid. And then ask her if anything changes let me know and I will comply to those changes. When I first started asking people how I should behave when they had a lost my husband was kind of scared because I was asking intimate questions but it really opened doors and taught me a lot. when you swing a bat inside a room with the lights turned off you’re going to hit stuff you do not want to hit. Not that were swinging bat in rooms but if I’m going to be swinging a bat I want to know what I’m swinging at and I want to see so I can aim. That’s why I just go ahead and ask questions.

    1. That is really great advice, I’ve never had to know how to handle this situation. Thanks for the input!

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