I wake up the middle of this plush cloud, the room is still dim. And even before I can announce myself to the day I am served my breakfast in bed by the Smiling One. It’s warm and it’s all-you-can-eat. And I eat. I’m such a lush I eat until I pass out again.
When I awake again the Smiling One is not around…and since that is not OK I make my discontent known throughout the land. But it doesn’t take long before the Smiling One returns and all is well. I am quickly whisked away to the changing place.
The wet thing on my rear is replaced with a dry one, and my bum gets a good warm wipe-down. I am not a fan of these wet things, and I protest them several times throughout the day, but alas…the Smiling One continues to make me wear them. And even worse…I am forced to wear pants. I am also not a fan of pants. Although I do enjoy the changing place, it has these mysterious circles on the wall…I do enjoy looking at them. And once in a while the Smiling One will take them down and let me hold one. the Smiling One always laughs at me when I try to eat it…but why else would you give me something if it is not meant for eating?
Speaking of eating…once the wet thing and the pants situation is over I am fed my second breakfast.
It’s warm, but not all you can eat…and usually that is ok, but somedays I want to enjoy the buffet again. I always get my way, so I protest.
The Smiling One and I snuggle, and play. The Smiling One makes me lay on my front. And I feel that this is unacceptable. The front is like a punishment. No, it is punishment. I don’t understand why I must be on my front. No good can come of this. I must protest.
Since we are on the subject of torture and punishment have you ever been forced to sit in this thing called a Car Seat?! It is the worst of all imaginable evils. Even as I see the Smiling One bring me near it I will begin to protest, and loudly too. But it is in vain. The Smiling one tries to comfort me and reassure me…but I can see through the smile and I know that I will have to endure this contraption for a while. I do not endure it silently that’s for sure. I protest it the entire time I am forced to be in it. Unless I fall asleep…
because once I settle down it’s really not that bad…I just don’t like the not warm place. It’s cold, and bright and windy…and I just don’t like it. I am not near the Smiling One, and I just want to snuggle. I miss the Smiling One when I am in the seat. I get very sad. I must protest.
Then before I know it we are in the warm place again, and I am eating lunch. Seriously this all-you-can-eat thing is the best. I give my compliments to the chef by belching loudly, and the Smiling One laughs. We play some more and then it’s snack time. By this point in the day I am sleepy. And my napping place of choice is at the buffet.
That way, if I wake up again I am able to eat again right away without having to wait for a table. The Smiling One tells me something about needing to eat, but surely I am the only one that eats. I do not know what the Smiling One means by this. I am set in my chair, and the Smiling One leaves me and returns with some strange thing and makes this “Mmmm” sound. The Smiling One thanks me…but I cannot understand why. I am so confused, the Smiling One’s buffet does not look like mine, I do not understand. I must protest.
It is getting late and I am getting sleepy. But I will not sleep. I must fight the sleep. Clearly there is something wrong, there is no need for me to sleep. And suddenly the Hairy One appears. The Hairy One gives me kisses and it tickles. The Hairy One has this magical box that comes off the wall and it makes the most beautiful sounds!
The Hairy One sings and even though I don’t know all the words, I still try to sing too. It makes the Smiling One laugh. I like making the Smiling One laugh. It makes me happy. I shall not protest.
Sometimes I see an older Hairy One. This Hairy One has lots more hair around the smile, and the hair tickles so much! And the Older Hairy One also has an Older Smiling One…it’s very trippy. That Older Smiling One looks just like MY Smiling One. How does that work?! I think I must be time traveling…I must protest.
And then all at once, I can take it no longer. I must sleep. I find myself in the middle of the plush cloud, and the buffet is here. I eat until I…..