Throwback Thursday


tbt 10.16.14

This post was inspired by a friend who just turned 25 this week, and has gone through a lot of ups and downs over the last year.  It made me think back to my mid 20s and how I never thought I’d be happy, or that I would have anything that I wanted.  Because every time I came close to being happy, someone or something had to smash it all to hell.

This photo was taken at the Chicago Conservatory…obviously on November 10th 2007.  Nearly 7 years ago.  At that moment I was with a guy that I barely knew…we met on eHarmony, and after hundred of hours of phone conversations we decided to meet halfway between our home states, in Chicago. We did a lot of sightseeing, and planned this trip for WEEEEEEEEKS.

This is the only photo I have with him in it from that trip, even though I took hundreds of us that weekend.  Because I destroyed all evidence of him just a few weeks later.

I remember the weeks leading up to “meeting” him online.  I was pining away for someone who would never want to be with me the way I wanted him to; I was…for lack of a better word, homeless (I rented a room, from my best friend and her idiot husband, for a disgusting amount of money that left me so broke I couldn’t feed myself, and so miserable from their dysfunctional relationship that I thought I was nuts.) and picked up every single shift I could get at what ever retail job I was working at at that time (I don’t even remember…Mimi Maternity maybe???).  I was lost.  I was questioning everything and when J* and I “met” online I felt like it was fate, it was meant to be and he was The One.

It was.  It wasn’t.  He was not.  To make a long story short, he proposed on the way home, over the phone (Hellllo HANS!), I said yes (My middle name is Ann….hmmmm); and just 2 short weeks later her crushed me by telling me he was going to go back to his ex.  Talk about a roller coaster of emotions there.  (I hope you all get the frozen references there…and when I returned home my “BFF” told me I could not marry a guy I just met, and that I was wako and needed to be committed…like literally taken to the psych ward.)

That was pretty much rock bottom for me.  I hated pretty much everyone and everything about my life.  I honestly thought that I did something so heinous that I never deserved to be happy.  But I was wrong.

Just over a year and a half, 2 more boyfriends-ish, 2 moves and one more internet dating attempt later…I did meet The One.  The Only One.  Life turned around so fast and not because of a guy.  Because I met my other half, the one who lifts me up and is my life line in rough times.  I never would have thought at the moment that I took that photo, that my life would take such a dramatic turn and go on a totally different path than the one I saw before me.

It’s crazy what can happen in 7 years!

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