Category Archives: love

Dear Present Me


I shared this status on Facebook just now, but I really feel that the words need a broader audience than my small circle of friends.

This is for anyone struggling today.

Dear Present Me,

I know right now you are hurting, and sad. This didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, and now you are paying the price for putting yourself out there. You can still breathe, even though it feels like all of the air has left you. You can still stand up even though you feel like you’ve fallen down a deep well and the world is spinning too fast. You have gotten over this before, and you know that you can move past it. You have already done it.

Do not let this derail you. DO. NOT. LET. THIS. BREAK. YOU. You are so much stronger than this. You know you are. Just because you have gotten to a place where you feel good, and are happy does not mean that you do not deserve it. You are not out anything. Nothing has changed. This did not happen to you because you finally embraced happiness.

This is not the end. It will get better. Do not forget that you have what you need already. You have a mantra permanently inked on your body for helping get through hard times such as these. Never give up hope. Lean on the people that you share your life with, they are here for you and love you unconditionally. They will always pick you up when you fall down. You are not alone in this. This will not break you.

This is not about you. This is about timing. Moving on doesn’t not mean forgetting, it means living and not falling down and staying there. It means finishing what you have set out to do. It means making them proud. And making yourself proud. You can grieve this, but don’t you stay there longer than you told yourself you would. This was not a once in a lifetime opportunity. You may get another chance to have what you want, but don’t stay here and wait for it to happen, or life will pass you by. I know it feels like a sucker punch to the chest; but it will get better. This does not break you.

❤ Love, Future you

Advertisements

5 Things Friday


5 Things Friday

It’s November.  How the heck did that happen?!  2014 is nearly gone already!  I feel like I barely got used to 2014, and soon it will be 2015.  I have lots of big plans for 2015, and I can’t wait to start them, in fact I may roll some of them out sooner than 2015!

Tonight is date night.  Yaaaaaaaay!  It will be so nice to get away for an overnight, and SLEEP.  The little human has been a nightmare at night recently.  Last night we did kid care for my in-laws so that they could have a date night and we’ve got a HOUSEFUL of kids today!  I am trying out the stairstepper thing today…it’s amusing.

IMG_5617.JPG

 

Here’s your five

  1. A toy bomb x 3 has gone off in my house.
  2. Hadley is NOT happy about this day.  There have been lots of tears and it’s only 10 am.
  3. We are doing a No TV November Challenge..no tv shows for 30 days.  We even canceled Netflix & Hulu so we wouldn’t be tempted.
  4. I might have to break the No TV November Challenge today.
  5. The 2 & 3 year old are getting along swimmingly!  It’s hard to be 1.
  6. BONUS THING: New hair day tomorrow!

Do you have big plans for the weekend?

5 Things Friday


5 Things Friday

Happy Friday!

It’s nutso that it’s the middle of October already.  I feel like time is going on warp speed these days.  I know that this is just the beginning, and 5 years from now I am going to wonder where that time went.

So here’s the 5

  1. We have a new friend who comes over 4 days a week.  We will call her Cutie Pie.  She’s 2 and super fun, and she and Hadley get along so well!  Hadley loves her to bits and gets so excited to see her.  It warms my heart! IMG_4134
  2. I have been kicking my butt at the gym this week.  So good infact that I am sore, so very sore…and have been for days.  And because I love you all I am sharing this butt kicking circuit with you! IMG_4139
  3. Hadley and I have been taking an obnoxious number of selfies lately.  IMG_4161
  4. My Hubby, the best Hubby ever, Run This Dad got me an HOUR LONG MASSAGE THIS AFTERNOON.  Dude…is he not the BEST guy eva??  I am pretty sure he is.
  5. Because I punked out on so many races this year, I am already planning 2015.  I am torn between sticking to just virtual races, and choosing 2 halfs (one early summer, one late fall), and 5 5ks and the Women Run The Cities 10 miler a few weeks before that fall half as a long training run.  I have not decided yet…I have a few months to decide.  But I am going to totally overhaul my approach to writing a training plan if I go the in person races so that I am fully trained and prepared for those races so that I can avoid any more injury.

 

Throwback Thursday


tbt 10.16.14

This post was inspired by a friend who just turned 25 this week, and has gone through a lot of ups and downs over the last year.  It made me think back to my mid 20s and how I never thought I’d be happy, or that I would have anything that I wanted.  Because every time I came close to being happy, someone or something had to smash it all to hell.

This photo was taken at the Chicago Conservatory…obviously on November 10th 2007.  Nearly 7 years ago.  At that moment I was with a guy that I barely knew…we met on eHarmony, and after hundred of hours of phone conversations we decided to meet halfway between our home states, in Chicago. We did a lot of sightseeing, and planned this trip for WEEEEEEEEKS.

This is the only photo I have with him in it from that trip, even though I took hundreds of us that weekend.  Because I destroyed all evidence of him just a few weeks later.

I remember the weeks leading up to “meeting” him online.  I was pining away for someone who would never want to be with me the way I wanted him to; I was…for lack of a better word, homeless (I rented a room, from my best friend and her idiot husband, for a disgusting amount of money that left me so broke I couldn’t feed myself, and so miserable from their dysfunctional relationship that I thought I was nuts.) and picked up every single shift I could get at what ever retail job I was working at at that time (I don’t even remember…Mimi Maternity maybe???).  I was lost.  I was questioning everything and when J* and I “met” online I felt like it was fate, it was meant to be and he was The One.

It was.  It wasn’t.  He was not.  To make a long story short, he proposed on the way home, over the phone (Hellllo HANS!), I said yes (My middle name is Ann….hmmmm); and just 2 short weeks later her crushed me by telling me he was going to go back to his ex.  Talk about a roller coaster of emotions there.  (I hope you all get the frozen references there…and when I returned home my “BFF” told me I could not marry a guy I just met, and that I was wako and needed to be committed…like literally taken to the psych ward.)

That was pretty much rock bottom for me.  I hated pretty much everyone and everything about my life.  I honestly thought that I did something so heinous that I never deserved to be happy.  But I was wrong.

Just over a year and a half, 2 more boyfriends-ish, 2 moves and one more internet dating attempt later…I did meet The One.  The Only One.  Life turned around so fast and not because of a guy.  Because I met my other half, the one who lifts me up and is my life line in rough times.  I never would have thought at the moment that I took that photo, that my life would take such a dramatic turn and go on a totally different path than the one I saw before me.

It’s crazy what can happen in 7 years!

Motivation Monday


fearexcitement500

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK….

So my half marathon is this week.

And I am so unbelievably nervous and freaked out.  I thought this quote was super fitting for this week.  I really hope that my fear and nervousness gets replaced by excitement!

And oh the other reason I am tooootalllly freeeaking ouuut…

This girl turns one TOMORROW.

1395194_557255225528_1369364855_n

Shut up!

 

Throwback Thursday


20130514-175450.jpg

Remember when I made my own maternity jeans?  Yeah I loved them, and wore them all.the.time.

It’s nearly Hadley’s 1st birthday, so I am seriously mooning over the pregnancy pics lately.  It’s been a whirlwind 2 years-ish since this journey began.

It’s been a blast.