Category Archives: Sleep deprivation

Insert applicable title here…


Yeah…I am just that lazy these days.

Clearly.

August was a blur.  And now summer is over.

There is so much, and yet not nearly enough to say.

I’ve been working on me mostly, and gotten back into this really great routine in the morning.  I’ve been getting my butt up at Stupid o’clock and hitting the gym.  Most days I come home and go back to sleep until the Little gets up.  Which is nice, but then I just feel wrecked all day.

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I’ve also been slowly transforming my diet back to a clean and mostly organic diet…after realizing I may be having some gluten intolerance issues recently.  I miss pasta.  And bread.  But the effects on the rest of my body have been very noticeable.  My skin is clearer, my hair has been fantastic…

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So… I’m going to stay sans pasta and bread for as long as necessary if I look and feel better.

Also…how is my baby going to be TWO in 6 weeks?!?!?!

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Everyday is an adventure with this one.  And everyday calls for a costume.  On this particular day she was a fairy.  But the wings have been a common accessory lately.  She always wants to be noticed, and loves being the center of attention…oh so opposite from her mother.  She is still very much Minion obsessed.  But I am so glad it’s not Dora, or something far more annoying like Calliou or Sponge Bob…which by the way…will NEVER be played in my house.  Eva!!  I’d rather only ever watch Despicable Me 2 for the rest of my life than any of those other shows.

We are also taking a big step in our household…

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Yeah…gonna maybe put some roots down.  The only thing is that we would be putting roots down in a place I’m not sure I want to be.  I want to get out of MN so badly.  Part of me feels like if we buy a home here…we are stuck here.  But we really need more space, and I think it’s time.  So many of our friends have homes, and don’t rent anymore.  Home ownership is such a huge responsibility, I just hope we are prepared for all of it.  It also means that this CHO’s (Chief Household Officer) job just gets bigger…

There are lots of other things in the works currently…but not ready to share just yet.  I am taking steps to start up something awesome and it’s something that I get asked about A LOT…so I am really excited to start this ball rolling!

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Let’s catch you up, shall we?


So when I last posted, other than about moving this blog to a new residence, it was November and winter had just started to creep in.  I was also trying to dye my hair purple, and my little human was still in the throes of a post-surgery-sleep-regression-nightmare.

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I got my purple hair.  But it took about 21 hours and 3 visits to accomplish.

Winter lasted foooooooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr

And the little human finally got over her sleep issues…by Christmas time.

But here are some other things that happened:

  1. I fell out of love with fitness, and fell off the healthy eating wagon and rolled for several miles behind it in the dust before I was able to stand back up.
  2. I bought my first Erin Condren Life Planner. (If you shop at this link you can get $10 off your purchase!  Weee!)
  3. I went to Illinois for a photo shoot, with my then business partner.  More about that one later…ashley_0082
  4. I opened my Etsy shop back up… I sell awesome stickers for planners now.  Go.  Check it out.  Now.  It’s awesome!  Plus…because I love ya… use code: FANSOFKAT for 10% off your purchase of $15+.  I am an official entrepreneur now…yaaaaay. FB etsy logo
  5. Finally decided on adding another member to our family…no babies yet because…well…endo still rears her ugly stupid head.
  6. I quit Beachbody…and I will NEVER work for another direct sales company EVER again.  Aside from the business aspect, I have come to hold more respect for clean eating, and know with every fiber of my being that eating a clean, unprocessed or minimally processed diet is what will help you lose weight and be healthier.  No shake or pill can do that for you.  Business wise…I just couldn’t be involved with a company that sold products that I didn’t believe in.  Plus, I just don’t do drama or ridiculousness.
  7. We are headed to Florida again in just about 3 weeks…EEEEEEKKKKK!  I cannot wait.  3 weeks in Florida!?  Um, YEAH!
  8. I am just 8ish pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight…holy cow!  For half-assing it these last 6 months I am very proud of myself.  Progress pictures coming soon.
  9. I am still dealing with PPD…yeah.  STILL.  It happens folks.  And it can stick around for a few years after that bundle of joy arrives.  Are we nuts for thinking of having another baby?!  I have more good days than bad, and Hadley is the light of my life.  But man that transition from only worrying about yourself to you AND another human…oops…I mean another human and then maybe yourself if there is time left over, or they take a nap.
  10. We bought a Subaru and I frickin love it.

So now that you are mostly caught up, and I am back…I will do my best to post more.  Life with kids is hard, and I still struggle to find balance in life.  But that will probably never change…it just need to get better at it.

Hope you all have a lovely Memorial Day weekend!

12 Months


12 Months

We did it! We all survived our first year as parents and as a little human. She has changed so much in the last 12 months, it just blows my mind. She certainly has her own personality, and knows what she likes, and wants and what she doesn’t.

She is such a beautiful little girl, and I love her sense of humor. I love being able to laugh with her over something she sees for the first time, or most of the time at nothing at all…she just loves to laugh so much.

She has 2 new teeth that have recently made their way through, and working on two more. She is just days away from walking, I am sure of it. As she has been getting brave and taking a step before her forward trust falls into mommy. We have a good vocabulary already, it consists of mama, dada, nana, no, bum bum, and ma’am…with the makings of …MINE in there sometimes!

This last year has blessed me beyond my expectations, challenged my stamina, and left me with many a sleepless night, it has had me rolling on the floor laughing, and sometimes crying too…it has not always been pretty, or fun…sometimes it was downright messy. But I never would have made it through this year without the help of the most amazing mommies I know. So thank you to all of you mommy warriors in my tribe…you know who you are!

3 Lactation Recipes That Don’t Suck…so your baby can


lactation recipes that don't suck

When Babylove was first born we really struggled with the breastfeeding thing.  Mostly because I felt like I was not making enough milk.  So I set out to find some lactation cookies that could help me.  And now, nearly 11 months later, we are still going strong!  I can’t believe that we’ve made it nearly a year.

The first batch was sort of a flop.  They tasted awful, and lasted forever because I just didn’t want to eat them.  But then I altered the recipe a bit and the next batch was great!  But you are a new mom and ain’t no booby got time fo dat!

So here are my 3 favorite lactation recipes that I have made, and loved!

Butterscotch Lactation cookies

Lactation Smoothie

White Chocolate Chip Lactation Cookies

 

So busy…


The last few weeks have been just nuts around here.  I feel really bad for neglecting the blog, and that I have not been posting as much as usual.  But I have been busy, busy bees!

I’ve been studying hard

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I want this done in the next 10 weeks, so I am pushing hard to study and read during pretty much every available opportunity of down time, time I would normally be writing.   This text is really intense and I know that I am going to learn a lot, but it’s a bit of a struggle to get through sometimes!

And Hadley has been a cranky, crabby little thing the last couple of weeks…not sleeping like normal, clingy…ugh…I hate teething!

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She is on the move all. the. time.  And it was just 2 weeks ago that she started crawling, full tilt, and now she wants to walk…or practice walking along the sofa, the coffee table…or with us.  She is such a hands on little thing…and a super busy girl.

I have also been dealing with some back and hip flexor issues that have caused me to put most of my training runs on hold, but we have gotten out to walk/run a few times these last 2 weeks.  And after a few treatments from a Chiropractor, I can see that it’s making a difference in my pace and my stride…I just need my lungs to catch up!  Come on cardio!

I have not been able to get to the gym consistently the last month, which is annoying!  I want to go work out at the end of the day, nay I NEED to go work out at the end of the day.  It’s my sanity time and I have been  skipping the gym in favor of 1) studying and 2) sleeping.  Because the Little Miss has been waking at night, most nights.  But I know that will change so I am just going with the flow.

But even though I’ve been slacking in the working out department, and sucking with the food tracking, and the scale says the same as it did before our trip to Florida…my body looks completely different.  So I know that the workouts that I am doing are paying off!  Which is a HUGE motivator for me to get back to the gym on a regular schedule and keep at it!

As the summer wraps up, have you gotten through your Summer Bucket List?

Sh!t no one told me about having a baby that I wish I would have known


Making a baby is hard work, yo.  But the hardest part comes after that sweet little bundle comes home.  The day we were discharged I kept thinking…”This is really happening?  They are actually going to let me take this itty bitty thing home?  Shit just got real.”

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I really thought I had prepared myself for what life was going to be like with a new baby.  Afterall, I had babysat pretty much my entire life, nannied all through college, even lived in for a while, I majored in Early Childhood Ed!  But in all honesty I had no effing clue what we were in for.  A while back I shared some things that I had learned as a new mommy, but that was only the beginning.

As the Hubs and I continue discussions about going through this all again, I am quite confident that adjusting to life with a newborn will not be as challenging the second time around because I know so much more than I did before she got here.  And I have adjusted my expectations to a more realistic level.

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There is so much that I wish I had known before my disgustingly adorable daughter came into the world, that no one bothered to tell me.  I really wish that close Mommy friends, or family would have shared how it really is.  Instead everyone tells you the Hollywood version of Motherhood.  And that it is beautiful and blissful.  It’s not like that 100% of the time.  I have learned so much about this new role in my life, so much that I could write a book…but I will share my biggies…

Biggie number 1: No matter how many books you read, or classes you go to.  You don’t know what the hell you are doing.  No clue.  It’s fly by the seat of your pants time now that you are home with a baby.  A real for real baby that cries all the time and poops all over you (YES it happens).  You won’t know why she is crying, and you will try everything that your hormonal, exhausted brain can think of.  And it still won’t fix it.  Just know that you don’t know what to do.  Until you do.  Also know that you are a great Mommy, and you are doing an amazing job.  It will also be impossible to ask for help.  So just take it when it’s offered.  Take people up on their offer to help.  No one cares that you have not showered for days…they are there to hold the baby…so that you can shower, and eat.  And sleep.

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Biggie number 2: You might want to leave.  Some days you will want to leave, and never come back.  Somedays you will want to just take the baby and go.  Sometimes you will want to not be married and not be a mom.  You will imagine yourself in a cabin in the woods, where no crying babies live.  Or in a tiny town by the sea, with no husbands and no babies.  You would never actually leave, but the daydream keeps you sane.  Or you will tell your husband to leave…like I did the first weekend home.  Thank god he came back!  Side note: I told him to go to the gym, and that I needed to be alone.  Not to leave forever.

Biggie number 3: You will probably get depressed.  Big time.  As in don’t leave the house, why bother showering, don’t even think about touching me, depressed.  And because you have thoughts of leaving, and you are exhausted you have zero filter, and spew a verbal vomit of hateful things to your partner; things you don’t actually mean…because they are mean.  You get through it, but you can’t get through it alone.  PPD is serious, and if you are feeling down…please, please, please talk to your partner, a friend and fellow mommy, your OB/GYN, someone…you don’t have to deal with it alone.  I was silent way too long.  Until I wasn’t and I could have done some serious damage to my marriage with the above verbal vomit.  I am thankful I have an amazing Hubs.  I shared my PPD struggles here but in truth, I struggled more in silence than I anyone knows.

Biggie number 4: Motherhood isn’t all encompassing.  Nor should it be.  Don’t lose yourself in the mounds of laundry and diapers.  Having a standing coffee date with a friend, and talk about non-mommy things.  In fact institute a “No baby talk policy”…that way you are free to dish on the latest celeb gossip, new book you are reading…oh yeah…read books.  Do something for yourself, by yourself.  When I finally opened up to The Hubs about how I was feeling, I told him I felt like the person I was before my daughter was born was dead, like she no longer existed.  She was lost and I couldn’t find her.  (Good news…I found her in Florida and she came home with me. :))

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Biggie number 5: You will feel guilty.  All.  The.  Time.  For no damn reason, and for the stupidest things.  I spent months agonizing over my milk supply.  My daughter had SUA, and IUGR and “it was my fault” was the lie I kept telling myself.  Clearly I had done something wrong.  Not only that but she has Polydactyly on her right hand…meaning she has an extra finger.  Yep…that is the first time I have mentioned it here because…I feel immense guilt about it and I still do every damn time I look at it.  So let go of the Mommy Guilt, it will all be ok.  And don’t worry about screwing up your kid…WE ARE ALL SCREWED UP.

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Biggie number 6: You might not fall in love with your baby right away.  You might have a shitty birth experience, like me, and be a bit traumatized and drugged for a while.  You might feel like you are no longer connected to your baby because she is not physically a part of you.  Just remember that she is now a spiritual part of you and that it will come.  You might be sitting up with her at 2am one night and the love will reach out and smack you in the face.  And then you will love the shit out of her.  She will be the most amazing, and awesome creature you’ve ever met.

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Biggie number 7: You might miss being pregnant.  You will miss the connection, and the comfort.  It’s hard to explain, but a lot of women experience it.  It’s totally normal.  For me, I felt disconnected from her…and even though she was there for me to hold, I had a hard time adjusting to her being in the world.

Biggie number 8: Find a mommy tribe.  And don’t just stay with the first one that you check out (I happen to still be with my same group, but did check out one other and it just wasn’t for me).   Make it new people that you don’t know.  Find your tribe, and get real with them.  Seriously.  My mommy tribe mommies are the most amazing, supportive, beautiful, non-judgemental women and our babies are all besties…or BF/GF.  Our group is changing, 2 of our mommies and babies are moving away and change is hard.  I will miss them so very much.  Oh, and stay away from Mommy groups online…for real.  They are nothing but drama, and you don’t need that.

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Biggie number 9: Get active as soon as possible…be a mall walker, join a gym, get outside if you can.  Don’t sit inside and be alone.  It’s no good for either of you.  I seriously cannot stress this one enough.  Remember: endorphins make you happy.

Biggie number 10:  You might not like being a mom sometimes.  You might have regret for the decision to procreate, and you might resent your child, especially when it’s at 2 am and you are beyond exhausted.  But that is only .01% of the time…the rest of the time is filled with bliss and sunshine and rainbows…oh wait…no it’s not…that’s the cartoons that you will watch!  Motherhood is hard for real…but it can be a blissful time if you let it.  It does get a bit easier.  I am sure that there are Moms out there that have been in the trenches a lot longer than I that will say it does not get easier…but I think it has gotten tremendously easier.  Or perhaps I am finally getting the hang of this.

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Much of this post was written in jest, but there is a lot of truth to it.  This journey is a challenging one, but one that I love more than anything in the world.  My daughter is everything to me and I love the crap out of her.

 

5 Things Friday – Florida Edition 4.0 The Conclusion


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At last the month in Florida has come to a close. It’s been amazing, and a lot of fun and some hard work.

I am really excited to be going home, and to see my Hubs, and sleep in my bed. And also to be getting back on track with my training schedule! I am quite behind now. Although I was able to work out with Wonder Woman a lot, I am behind on my miles. I am also really excited to be going back to Anytime Fitness. I decided that I do need a gym, and this will make “me time” better. Wonder Woman and I were doing 2-a-days during the week, or double dipping as a I like to call it. And I really like that routine. Getting 3 hours of exercise in a day feels amazing and I am ready to continue that when I get home.

Ok so lets get to the 5!

  1. Cross country road tripping is not as awesome as I remember. Perhaps it’s because I have a baby this time? I’ll go with yes.
  2. I lost weight on vacation. YEAH! about 5 pounds, maybe more. Thank you Wonder Woman, Isagenix, Quest Bars and Walden Farms…omg.
  3. I like Florida living. A lot.
  4. Apparently the posted speed limits in the south are just a suggestion…I am sure that most everyone was doing a cool 20 mph over the posted 70 mph limit Wednesday night. oy.
  5. I need a hair cut. I honestly have not had one since December when I cut it all off. Now it’s just out of control.

Seriously the sunrise yesterday morning in Tennessee…

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